Monday, September 19, 2005

Rent-a-negro is from a woman here in Portland who is an artist. She was on the radio a while back. Her website offers her services to be a friend to anyone who wants to appear chic, open minded or altogether a little more *exotic* or something because they have a friend who is African American. She started the website because apparently there were enough instances where people wanted to touch her hair or her skin, or just the general dearth of black folk here in honkyville Portland OR made her a sort of a, uh what? I don't know.

So she is an artist and she sells her presence to people who want I suppose to seem more, err, diverse? It's an interesting website, a social commentary --i think unique to the Northwest here in a way. It has to be seen to be believed...some outtakes

What Satisfied Customers Say About rent-a-negro©:

"I would like to know more... [her] speaking and writing voices are a surprise... I expected someone not so calm and endearing." - M.P., County Employee
"She keeps my life interesting!" - H.L., Artist
"I took her to the country club for lunch...all heads turned!" - T.M., Executive Director

Additional Services
• "Help! I need a Black Opinion!" $75 per call (30 minute duration) or email (24 hr response time)
• Touch Her Hair: $25 each time
• Touch Her Skin: $35 each touch
• Compare Your Skin Tone to Hers: $50
• Tell her"you look just like..." another black person: $100
• Call her "sister" "sista" "girlfriend" or "girl": $150 each time
• Dance Lessons for the Rhythm-Challenged: $250 hour
• Challenging Racist Family Members: add $500 per person
• Racist Guests at Event: add $500 per event (per racist)
• "Will You Tell Them I'm Not a Racist?": $1500 per vouch

Ok blogger world...send me your feedback on this I wanna make some buzz on this


suleyman said...

I love this!

I pulled up Chezwhat and my first thought was: "Oh, lord, what's Heather on about now...."

I'm actually laughing as I type this.

I think it's witty and hilarious, but I doubt the utility of such a service down here. You know, up there in Oregon, I don't recall seeing a single black person. Strange. To me, being surrounded by throngs of white people is just frightening.

"Will You Tell Them I'm Not a Racist?": $1500 per vouch. That's what really got me laughing.

My fair burg is roughly 25% black, according to the 2000 census, so I doubt you could pull such a thing here. Of course, I doubt this is real. It seems just an elaborate piece of art.


Jenelle said...

I am here via suley (hi suley!) and this is absolutely hysterical. I never in my wildest dreams woulda thought such a service could exist! HAHAHA! I needed that!