Tuesday, March 14, 2006

It isness

Fitèna asked "What does the title mean?" --Zhensheni Den--Vosmoi Mart means, in bad, pathetic Russian, "Woman's Day, March 8th"

Saphenous asked "What kind of sushi do you like?"--I like all kinds. But I admit a predilection to the kinds with cooked meat instead of raw. I will eat some raw, like salmon or tuna, but tend towards the rolls that are geared toward the non raw crowd.

I got somethin to help me sleep. I hope it works and makes me not be a zombie tommorrow.

I am not Christian I declared earlier. So who cares. Well I do and this is my bleepin blog.

I do however believe wholeheartedly that the bible is the word of God, and I seek to craft my life to reflect this. Naturally, at times, like most people who call themselves Christians, I do a rather miserable job at it.

I am not a *Christian* (insert heavy pejorative tone here) though, because it seems to carry a mountain of negative connotations. Consider all the offenses perpetrated by those would-be *Christians*, from the Inquisition to the religious colonialism of all central and South America...

Nay, forget that, what about all the slave owners in the colonies who believed themselves so pious, or what about those Catholic Priests molesting little kids? What about those crazies who wore hair shirts and whipped themselves?

What about the Nazi's, or the fact that I often wonder if Luther might have been responsible for a latent anti-semitism in our German friends?

What about those Catholic Schools where the nuns do corporal punishment and threaten little kids with hell?

What about every *Christian* one ever met that seemed to feel that they belonged to some elitist club?

What about the guy down at Saturday market preaching hellfire and brimstone, what the hey what about the Baptist guy at the church preaching hellfire and brimstone while my little Jewish cousin sits next to me in the pew, poor guy. Do people become Christians just to avoid hell? Is this why people chose Christianity? Cause they are afraid?

What about the Christians that go to church on Sunday and beat their kids every other day of the week or generally scar their kids with the marks of bad parenting?

What about this idea that if one comes from a certain place, like the West, they are just assumed to be Christian? What about them?

What about that guy who leads the Lord's Resistance Army there in Sudan/Uganda where they kidnap little boys and kill their friends in front of them as a threat to get them to join their army? The Leader thinks God is telling him to do these things...

What about all the atrocities that our own *Christian* country perpetrates covertly abroad, out of the eye of the press? Why would any one want to align themselves thus? I certainly don't.

Those Christians need to confess their sins, man. THEY'RE the ones who need to repent.

So let me be the first, even though the experience I have had as a follower of Christ doesn't have anything to do with inquisitions or child armies, I confessed I am a believer, a follower, a student of the teaching of Christ and I repent on behalf of all the nightmarish things humans have done in the name of God. I am sorry. I accept that humans who worship Christ are hopelessly flawed. The church is responsible for more than one atrocity in this world, it's responsible for many. The church has done wrong. Catholic, Lutheran, Protestant all of it. It's never ok to do these things. And I believe that these types of atrocities are exarctly what God meant when he said "Don't take my name in vain,"

Look at the Israelites, how long they wandered around in the desert trying to figure things out, always trying to build statues of cows or some such to worship. Then when they were about to go into the promised land, some didn't even want to go. People are weak, frail. Give the strongest person you know a challenge that hits them in the area they value most, whether it's their kids, their cash, their spouse or present them with temptations like porn or alcohol or work or whatever it is...people are weak, fallible, with soft spots. It's not a diss, it's reality. It's how we are made. Even David, the man after God's heart, was braver perhaps-- but still frail. We, I, they...humanity... can't handle what God IS.

Now for why. Because without God there is no hope. There are just people and elements and lots of space. Evil happens without reason, there is no hope for justice. Any justice that happens is man made and depends on someone doing the right thing, and that just doesn't happen enough. Without God, we are all here because of some cosmic accident and after we die the worms eat our flesh and that's it. People are evil-- they traffic humans, enslave children, put guns in the hands of young boys, and are motivated by greed, desire for power and lust. And there is no possibility to ever change that or hope for lasting justice. We all rely on each other to not be bad, but we are so frail, so there is no chance to ever eliminate that nature.

Beyond that, I get a chance to seek. I am following after what I believe is the creator of everything, who is Love. I get to ask questions about why things are the way they are, and then learn answers. I have the assurance that there is nothing new under the sun and that God is in control of everything and will be the ultimate provider of justice. I can seek peace and receive it. I can seek wisdom and be given answers. I have a reason to be a good person, and I don't have to try to do it all on my own. I have a purpose, a rudder. I know I won't end up worshipping my own desires, because I will be held accountable to doing things like looking after the poor, helping children and being easy on the people around me. I can be forgiven for bad mistakes I made. My marraige has a chance because both J and I agree on foundational important things and are held accountable.

Besides that, if it's all said and done and after we die we go wherever and a crowd of folk laugh in my face because I had faith, what will I have lost? I had a good life (regardless of what actually happens), I followed after a peaceful way, I worked to be a good person. Feh, I have no reason not to believe.

1 comment:

suleyman said...


I understand what you're getting at here. "Christian" can have a negative connotation. But, I wouldn't let something like that bother me.

For instance, I'm a southerner. People think all manner of negative things about southerners, but I don't let it bother me. I tell them to stuff it. I guess that's not such a good thing for a Christian to say, but someone has to say it.