Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Post 100: Empathique

When things are rough one ought to remember what they got.

I got a job that I like, haven't always been able to say that.

Got the most beautiful, smartest and most enjoyable little girl in the world, who fills me with happiness every moment I am with her (haven't always been able to say that either).



Got an amazing good mate (something most may not have).

Got friends (better than gold, that is).

Got me health (better than ever).

Got a house.

Got hope.

It's been a rough turn of events. When you hope on justice and she barely moves for you. When you been wronged so long that it's an outrage and no one really cares except to get the benjamins.

So I am counting those good things in life.

When I read The Old Man and the Sea, I cried. Then I decided it was a distinctly negative take on life. Hemingway seemed to be saying through this book that we all will be destroyed slowly, eventually through life--through the pain it brings to us and watching what we need taken away from us. But as life churns on, I don't think it is the way. Optimistic? Maybe. I know it's my faith. I think what one does with those stomach churning events is where it's at. And I can't imagine where a person would be without confidence in God.

I am not a Christian though, and I have decided that's final.

Christian just has so many meanings, so many negative. I think the word has been tainted. So I am not that. Nomenclature is too important to be handled lightly. I am reading A Generous Orthodoxy by McLaren.

There it is y'all. Post #100.

Oh, Empathique.

When a person parents a child something happens sometimes. People would tell me about the way people change when they became parents, and I thought it was all BS. "I won't change, I'll still be coo, yo." But there has been a change. I cannot watch or tolerate images of children in abusive/unloving circumstances. It hits me to my core.

We saw a presentation about Methamphetamines today. Babies burned, cut, damaged through drug use. I cannot bear to watch it.

Empathic. On the radio they talked about this, that if you have experienced something that you see portrayed, often one overly empathizes, sometimes to the point of feeling physical pain when they see circumstances they can empathize with. My child has never been burned, neglected, damaged. But when I see children in these situations it is more than I can bear. I do not know what to do with this overflow of empathy. I get angry, sad and generally very upset.

I have never felt this way before. I don't know what to do with it. For as ludicrous as it may sound, I want to protect, help. But what? Run in and take suffering babes everywhere back to my home? Mmmhmmm, right.

I speculate whether this means I ought to change profession. Perhaps.

Not sure what to do with this. It pains me immensely to see children in perilous or violent or unloving circumstances.

There we are Empathique.
Post 100.

Next up: Why I am not a Christian.

1 comment:

Em said...

So much to comment on here! First of all- my partner, hubby-type, man and I have been re-reading Hemmingway and have had really long discussions about the 'negative take'. The Old Man and the Sea did make me cry and cry... sigh.... Next- Not being a Christian- makes me perk my ears. I am having a huge existential crisis at 30: the world, faith, suffering, ultimate whatever... why are the people claiming to have all of the answers to these things such dolts or really out of touch or...and what about women and ... anyway- up nights.

Last thing: Since I had my son I have been transformed to some sort of lightening rod for sappy sensitivity or something. I can't watch any t.v. dramas- my heart breaks when I see a kid fall in the park. Sometimes I put my son to bed and just sort of linger in the hall still feeling something unresolved... all the children.. everywhere.... how can their parents let them suffer????

Okay-
My comments:)