Sunday, August 27, 2006

The end of Summer break

Even as I start this, I know I have no right to complain. Next year I will be part time and that means I work a mere 2 to 3 days a week. What right have I to complain? None.

Oh but that never stopped me before.

Not complaining exactly, just lamenting.

I am actually kinda glad I guess that the whole balance of our house will shift --J will care for her 2 days a week, I for 2-3 days and then once a month she will get a caretaker, my gentle friend Anna whom I trust emphatically. We do have an ideal situation, I know. We are very lucky.

I give J a hard time though... When I come home from work I have been in the past perhaps overly particular "When did she eat? What did she eat?" "Have you played with her?" "Did she poo?" And then I check her out. He usually (last year anyway) doesn't dress her but lets her go in her jammies until I get home at 3. He is working (from home) and that is where the minor tension comes in. This is where I refrain from any comment that might be lurking in my cranky post work head and just be coo.

But there is always a malaise that comes from the end of the summer. The school year always feels to me like a train that will not stop. Perhaps it is the bells and the relentless march of time, days off feel frantic with tackling "the list" and making sure I get play time with Addy.

With each school year though, I know that I become more efficient as a teacher, though sometimes I wonder if I am not disengaging a little bit more each year. I need a reality check...I have a sweet job in a school of really nice teachers and I get to be part time. What more could I want?

Don't ask this question. I want to take a class in Russian, I want to go to Portugal, I want to take a class in grantwriting, I want my marraige to take a cool refreshing drink of lemonade and remember the days when we first wed, I want to shop and not think about money, I want I want I want... shoot me! This must be an American disease.

I never want to be a portrait of the eternally vaguely dissatisfied woman.

Okay the title is the end of summer break, and instead this post has exposed my deepest anxieties! Crap!

Welcome back to class.


Megan said...

You know I can relate to this! Thankfully, day 2 of being back with students was easier than day one, even though I didn't get home until 2 in the morning last night. I do find that I feel more comfortable in the classroom each year. This is my third year and I feel so much more solid than ever before.

But boy oh boy how I hate the end of the summer. It is so hard to get back in the swing of things.

(I know, the non-teachers out there are really crying us a river!)

Norman said...

That has got to be the freakiest picture ever. I've gotta be honest - I keep trying to read your post but i keep staring at that picture. So very strange!

Ok. I'm going to go back and cover the picture and read your post now!!



Norman said...

ok. I was able to read that post - but I had my hand on the screen. My husband now thinks I'm odd(er).

I love blogs because you can see people working out their feelings. It's great to have that tool. And what's bizarre is that you and I have the same wants!! (Except for the Portugal trip. I want to go to Ireland). Oh and grantwriting. I don't know what that is. I probably AM going to take a class in Russian, because it'd be job-related for me!! WOOHOO!!


Adeline said...

Megan you are lucky you don't have high school students. Period. I do like my job, but sometimes the kids are hard. And sometimes they are incredibly gracious..
Norman, I really enjoy your blog, but now I am really curious about how Russian relates to your job.

Megan said...

Yea, I taught high school for one year (back when I was 22) and swore I'd never teach again. Sure, I ended up back in teaching, but good god I don't miss that school.