Even as I start this, I know I have no right to complain. Next year I will be part time and that means I work a mere 2 to 3 days a week. What right have I to complain? None.
Oh but that never stopped me before.
Not complaining exactly, just lamenting.
I am actually kinda glad I guess that the whole balance of our house will shift --J will care for her 2 days a week, I for 2-3 days and then once a month she will get a caretaker, my gentle friend Anna whom I trust emphatically. We do have an ideal situation, I know. We are very lucky.
I give J a hard time though... When I come home from work I have been in the past perhaps overly particular "When did she eat? What did she eat?" "Have you played with her?" "Did she poo?" And then I check her out. He usually (last year anyway) doesn't dress her but lets her go in her jammies until I get home at 3. He is working (from home) and that is where the minor tension comes in. This is where I refrain from any comment that might be lurking in my cranky post work head and just be coo.
But there is always a malaise that comes from the end of the summer. The school year always feels to me like a train that will not stop. Perhaps it is the bells and the relentless march of time, days off feel frantic with tackling "the list" and making sure I get play time with Addy.
With each school year though, I know that I become more efficient as a teacher, though sometimes I wonder if I am not disengaging a little bit more each year. I need a reality check...I have a sweet job in a school of really nice teachers and I get to be part time. What more could I want?
Don't ask this question. I want to take a class in Russian, I want to go to Portugal, I want to take a class in grantwriting, I want my marraige to take a cool refreshing drink of lemonade and remember the days when we first wed, I want to shop and not think about money, I want I want I want... shoot me! This must be an American disease.
I never want to be a portrait of the eternally vaguely dissatisfied woman.
Okay the title is the end of summer break, and instead this post has exposed my deepest anxieties! Crap!
Welcome back to class.
5 comments:
You know I can relate to this! Thankfully, day 2 of being back with students was easier than day one, even though I didn't get home until 2 in the morning last night. I do find that I feel more comfortable in the classroom each year. This is my third year and I feel so much more solid than ever before.
But boy oh boy how I hate the end of the summer. It is so hard to get back in the swing of things.
(I know, the non-teachers out there are really crying us a river!)
That has got to be the freakiest picture ever. I've gotta be honest - I keep trying to read your post but i keep staring at that picture. So very strange!
Ok. I'm going to go back and cover the picture and read your post now!!
LOL
Norman
ok. I was able to read that post - but I had my hand on the screen. My husband now thinks I'm odd(er).
I love blogs because you can see people working out their feelings. It's great to have that tool. And what's bizarre is that you and I have the same wants!! (Except for the Portugal trip. I want to go to Ireland). Oh and grantwriting. I don't know what that is. I probably AM going to take a class in Russian, because it'd be job-related for me!! WOOHOO!!
norman
Megan you are lucky you don't have high school students. Period. I do like my job, but sometimes the kids are hard. And sometimes they are incredibly gracious..
Norman, I really enjoy your blog, but now I am really curious about how Russian relates to your job.
Yea, I taught high school for one year (back when I was 22) and swore I'd never teach again. Sure, I ended up back in teaching, but good god I don't miss that school.
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